Day Fifty-Eight: I liked the Junior Mints

DAY FIFTY-EIGHT:  I came across an article today in the latest issue of my Disney Family Fun magazine. Let’s first start with why I even HAVE the Disney Family Fun magazine….it comes to my house, it’s a subscription…not my subscription. Somehow, someone subscribed my ex to Disney Family Fun and it gets sent to my condo – to someone who not only has no family, but someone who is single with no kids in sight.  Now I’m not complaining about not having kids…but how ridiculous that I get this magazine every month (and for some reason, I read it - I think it has something to do with feeling guilty that trees get sacrficed to make it.) 

 

It’s either a really “funny” joke OR the world’s way of letting me know all the fun things I COULD do if my 30 year old ass would finally decide to have children (yes, I know – it’s not my ass that would actually have the children). Either way….I’m not buying. Optimistic spin: I have something to talk about when my friends that have kids start doing the baby/toddler talk thing and I get to seem incredibly creative because the magazine actually has some pretty cool ideas. For a kid to do.  (I'll admit - I did rip out a few pages.  Hey, I'm a kid at heart...isn't everyone?) 

So back to the article. It’s all about this kid who is 9 years old and is a total pessimist. His mother says he notices and complains about things like a typo in the school newsletter or a substitute teacher’s lisp (can someone say…I love this kid? Okay, I will…I love this kid!) Anyway, mommy dearest is an optimist and wants to teach her son to see the good things and stop complaining about the bad things. (Get over it Mom, your kid rules, but…) I guess I sort of see her point, he’s not going to make any friends being a Dude Downer and we all know what happens to kids that make no friends when they are young. They grow up and shoot up schools or something similar. So, Mom has this rule, for every negative thing he (or any other family member) says, they have to say something positive to counteract it. Sounds sort of familiar (see any optimistic spin.) Well, it worked for her kid….he told her that the movie they just saw was terrible, but he liked the popcorn and Junior Mints. Time will tell if it works for me. I mean, if I got popcorn and Junior Mints I think I’d be happy.

Right now though, I’m suffering through the 2nd episode of American Idol this week. I watch it of my own volition and I’m not entirely sure why. I don’t believe it’s right for the media to select who the next big star is and them cram them down the American public’s throat, especially since most of the next “big stars” suck….if you don’t agree see here and here. I know, I know – the “public” votes….I’m completely convinced however that this is nowhere near representative of the true public – you know, the public that has ears and a semi-sense of musicality (that's a word, right?)…the majority of votes come from the singers themselves, and their parents, aunts, uncles, 4th grade teachers, eye doctors, and Sanjaya (do we all remember the ponyhawk….gag.)

The new crop of singers this year is brutal. Bru-tal. Granted it’s the first live show, so maybe it’s nerves, I don’t know, but seriously…I think my ears are bleeding. Optimistic spin: British pessimists make it entertaining and there are no ex-Laker girl singers on the panel plus Junior Mints might actually make it better. Now if only I had someone to bring me Junior Mints. Drats!  One of these might be good...

(As I post this – I cringe…cringe – you know that age old question would you rather be blind or deaf, well I’ve always answered blind without hesitation, until now – must.turn.it.off.)

Day Forty-Six: Foreign is good

DAY FORTY-SIX:  Today....was a good day. 

I got flowers. 

Sent to me. 

At work!! 

Happy early Valentine's Day to me!!  So forgive my boasting, but I had to put this one down in the books....no pessimism, no sarcasm...simply plain old happiness.  Feels foreign.  Foreign is good.

   

Thank you!  There is no need for an optimistic spin. 

Day Forty-Five: Where there's a guido, there's a way

DAY FORTY-FIVE: If you recall my first post, I discussed visiting a bar in a neighboring town (Addison) and likened it to the Jersey Shore, I mean Addison's “sister” city is Triggiano, Italy and it has an Italian Fest annually…seriously. I like to think of it as my own personal Jersey Shore, you know, without the shore and not in Jersey….well folks, it looks like the good people of Jersey Shore agree with me…one of their own will be gracing our little neighborhood bar with his presence in two weeks time.

How am I so lucky? I merely have to travel 10 minutes north (if that) and I can experience all the fist pumps, tans, poofs, blowouts, and guidos my heart desires…oh, what’s that heart? You don’t desire that? Dang! I guess Vinny will just have to wait until another day. Optimistic spin: Vinny will have to wait until another day.

(I have to thank Laurenne for bringing this to my attention so that I could share it with all of you that might not otherwise be blessed enough to know about this exciting event!  She's VERY upset she's not in Addison anymore.)

Day Forty-Four: Sarcastic Wednesday

DAY FORTY-FOUR:  At my office we subscribe to something we like to call Sarcastic Wednesdays. It’s just as it sounds – all day long every Wednesday we like to talk about how much we love working 62 hour weeks for no extra pay or appreciation, about how it’s fun to have to fight for a raise every two years if we are lucky, about how we love to feel challenged by incompetent co-workers that fail to do their job…you get the picture. And I’ll say, we don’t keep our sarcastic love for sharing only on Wednesdays. However, it is technically Wednesday, so I’m going to start the day right and list all of the things that I absolutely LOVED about the past 24-48 hours (please forgive the melodrama if you perceive it that way, I’m having a bit of a “day” if you know what I mean…)

So here it is, things that truly made my day:

• Waking up feeling just as shitty as I did when I went to sleep, I mean it was great to know what to expect

• Having to leave an extra 25 minutes early to make sure I can shovel my car out from under the snow, when it’s still snowing, it’s especially fun when the snow made its way down my back somehow

• Never receiving a phone call, but for a customer satisfaction survey from Walgreens Pharmacy, I felt truly appreciated

• Getting to make a sandwich with two ends of the bread loaf, at least they matched

• Realizing I still have 6 days to wait for my test results, it’s better than 7 days

• Debating whether to watch that 2 hour episode of Smallville now or to save it because I know I’ll have nothing to do tomorrow either, it’s great to have no plan preventing me from endless TV watching

• Feeling so crappy that all I was able to make myself for dinner was a rice cake with peanut butter (and that was last night – I didn’t make anything tonight – a pickle sounds good)

• One Tree Hill making me feel bad about my life – that show should not make any one feel bad about their life

• Having no paper towels to clean up the spill from my cat deciding the water was in his way and knocking it off the table, at least a spot on the floor got a cleaning

• The cat being relentless and spending the day either meowing while staring at me or just simply staring at me, he can be such a creeper

• Going to the store for one specific thing and leaving with four things, none of them the thing I needed, but hey, now I get to take another trip…fun

• People in the parking lot having no clue what they are doing with their lives and therefore, cannot figure out how to park a car – I was so excited about their driving skills that I simply left without going into the store

• Waking up realizing I spoke to someone last night that called me and cannot recall who or what we spoke about (damn sleeping pill)

• Selfish people, I love selfish people – I mean, don’t these people know that it’s really all about ME

• Doing a favor for someone by purchasing an item and then them asking you to drop it off even though they are passing by your house on their way home, of course, that’s way more convenient for me, would you like my left ovary as well? (Okay, that’s a little dramatic)

• Realizing that great deal on Ebay might take 3 months to ship from Hong Kong, maybe I’ll forget about it and then be REALLY excited when it does in fact arrive

• Waiting for a Valentine’s gift to arrive and learning it will probably arrive after Valentine’s Day

• Looking at 30 V-Day cards and leaving without one – oh and forgetting the paper towels (see above)

• A 45 minute doctor appointment that resulted in cramps, pain, and overall un-fun (which started my wonderful mood seen here)

• People not realizing that I need some care once and a while even if I don’t outright say it, and even sometimes when I do

• People not being able to say, I’m here for you if you need it or I care about you, sorry you feel bad or is there anything I can do – it really makes a girl feel loved and cared for

Alright, I’m done complaining – I could go on forever tonight – I’m in rare form, but why turn this into any more of a whine-fest than it already is (as if that were possible.) Optimistic spin:  The few saving graces of today:  Supernatural (Dean Winchester/Jensen Ackles can always boost my day at least half a notch - see pic below for your daily boost), hot tea, my new DiorShow BlackOut Mascara, this great perfume called Laugh with my LeeLee (still getting to the laugh with me part), the blonde Melanie put in my hair, my brown cuddly blanket, Kleenex, Claire showing up on LOST, and the one person that did actually say they’d come over and hang out with me if they could. Thanks person, you rule.

This is more for me, than anyone else (I apologize to any males that may read)...hellooo Jensen:

 

I promise my new post will be less histrionic and “woe is me” and more Optimistic Pessimism or whatever it is I prattle on about in these entries (ewww - that just reminded me of Spencer Pratt....note to self, do NOT use the word prattle any longer.)  Until then, thanks for listening – this was a must do vent session for tomorrow is a new day and as long as I don’t wake up to a cat meowing in my face or even better wake up to someone telling me how awesome I am…I can move on from this Terrible Tuesday and take Sarcastic Wednesday in stride.  Optimistic spin:  I Don't Care Friday is only days away. 

Day Thirty-Nine: You're Not in Dillon (Anymore)

DAY THIRTY-NINE:  Small airports can be great; you can be in and through security in less than 10 minutes. Except when they are small airports in places like oh, Lake Charles, Louisiana to name one (a small, hut type facility that has one gate and one counter – more like a room, that has 20 stackable chairs – and a “snack shop” that was closed in the middle of the day)...

...and well, Brownsville, Texas to name two. Now, the airport wasn’t the problem I suppose although it was quite small and turned into a ghost town within 10-15 minutes of my flight landing, but it was the start of the problem – the indicator of what was to come. Here’s the problem. I used the “courtesy phone” to call the hotel I was staying at – I was told to do this to let them know I was here so the shuttle that was reserved for me could come pick me up. “We’ll be there shortly” the man says….forward to 30 minutes later (note: hotel is 10 minutes away.) “Hello, where’s my shuttle? Did I miss it or is he on his way?” “He left about 10 minutes ago and he had to stop to get gas, he’ll be there.” Okay, sorry, what? a) Why did it take him 20 minutes to leave and b) gas? The shuttle was RESERVED, so that means they knew I was coming in and when I was coming in, do you think maybe it would have been prudent to fill up prior to the customer arriving? Gotta love Southern hospitality….so there I sat at small, ghost town airport waiting. The shuttle finally shows and after 9 hours of traveling I just want to get to my room and shower, but my shuttle driver wants to talk, but he tells me he speaks Spanish better…well, I don’t, sorry. I’ll give him this though – he spoke English well, and spoke it A LOT. First question, typical – business or pleasure….I’d think this would be sort of evident seeing as it’s Brownsville….what exactly is there pleasure to do?? (Oh right, South Padre Island, spring break…I’m not exactly 18 though) Anyway, I say for work and proceed to Blackberry. Oh are you FBI? Okay, odd question. No. Teacher? No. I tell him I work with lawyers and go back to Blackberry (I know I sound rude, but I’m tired, I’m being nice to him, but I really have to email some people – I mean, he’s a nice guy, but I’m just not talkative) He apparently is….do you like tacos? Why don’t you speak Spanish? How long are you staying, a week? Do you like this weather? It will be hot here in a month, this is cold (it was 65 degrees) Will you come back for spring break? Do you like tequila? Corona? Are you married? Do you have kids? Why aren’t you married? Where are you from? Always live there? Do you like Pizza Hut? $10 any pizza! Do you need to go to Target? Do you want to go to Mexico? Lots of people from Mexico here so just say Buenos Dias to them. This just goes on and on…and on. He tells me to call the front desk if I need anything – he tells me this about 10 times. It was about 5 minutes into the ride when I asked myself, where is Tim Riggins or Coach Taylor in their pick-up truck? Can’t one of them give me a ride? Anyway, I give the guy a 5 spot when he drops me off because he was really nice after all and got me there in one piece (and it’s on the company.) So…I’m taking the same shuttle at about 5 am on Saturday morning…I really hope he’s not as talkative then…I may not be too nice and I may ask for my $5 back. Optimistic spin: When I wasn’t listening to the shuttle driver, I was picturing Coach Taylor (Kyle Chandler) in my head.