Day 112: I don't want to go to SEE-cock-asssssss

DAY 112: I’m in Newark (well technically Secaucus, pronounced SEE-kaw-kus, or in my Chicago accent SEE-cock-ass), New Jersey, my favorite place east of Pennsylvania and west of New York. Our cab driver was great – he quickly got us to the Meadowlands Plaza Hotel on Wood Avenue, problem was we were going to the Meadowlands Consumer Center on Plaza Drive. He didn’t speak English, just heard Plaza and said, yes, I know, here. Seriously….wtf! After a good amount of back and forth and the involvement of the Hotel bellhop, we convinced him this was NOT the place we needed and got him to take us to the right place, which was miles away on the other side of town. I’ve come to the conclusion that he must have been deaf as well – that would explain his blaring, ear-splitting obnoxious cell phone ring tone and Indian music on the radio. Music which he lowered when he took a phone call, but did not lower when my coworker had to take 2 phone calls. So pleasant. I’d really like to know where common courtesy has gone? Did it go out with poodle skirts? Or disco? Or was it more recently along with neon green sunglasses and Flock of Seagulls hair? Oh wait, those came back in style didn’t they?? Shall I expect common courtesy to follow? I’ll be on the lookout. Optimistic spin: While I was sitting at the airport waiting to board my flight to gorgeous NJ, I looked to my right and noticed there was a dog, just sitting there, not in a bag or anything (technically there was a bag, but his owner had let him out). I looked at him, he looked at me…I was stunned there was a dog next to me and that I didn’t even notice until I turned my head. He was SO well behaved. I pet him, we bonded. My co-workers came back with their food and sat across the aisle from him. Apparently, he REALLY wanted some of their food, so much so that he begged. Here’s what that looked like….honestly, this alone makes the trip to NJ worth it…bad food and all (oh, did I not mention – my room service not only f’ed up my order and brought me someone else’s food, the food they did bring me once the mistake was corrected SUCKED. I think someone was trying to tell me something by sending me the wrong food in the first place…i.e., never send back wrong food because yours is probably worse.) Optimistic spin: I can see the NYC skyline from my hotel window…the way tip of it, one small little part…it’s sort of not that cool though because I’m here, and it’s there – just the tip is all I get, and we all know just the tip is never enough.  It always leaves you wanting more (yes, I'm being dirty….)  Oh, here's that video of the begging puppy in the airport (give it a minute to load if it's not up yet): 

Day 110: Hello....is it Theodore you're looking for?

DAY 110: There was a moment this week and in that moment I felt excitement, fear, joy, dread, anticipation, hope, apprehension…all these emotions coursing through me I wasn’t sure what to do, so I did it – I sat down, pressed on and watched – unsure of what was in store for me…it was Tuesday and I had just learned that it was Elvis night on American Idol. Yes, I’m a huge Elvis fan, but as any TRUE fan knows, being a fan does not mean every cover of any song is something you want to hear – in fact, many many times, it isn’t. Like on American Idol for example. Just in case you doubt me – here are some prime examples:

Chicken Little (Kevin Covais) singing the epic song Part Time Lover by Stevie Wonder and even BETTER, Kristy Lee Cook doing possibly the WORST cover of a Beatles song to date with her rendition of Eight Days a Week.  Optimistic Spin: Without getting into a person by person critique of the performances, I want to say I was pleasantly surprised at the outcome – there were a couple that may have stirred Elvis in his grave, but I don’t think he FULLY turned over. That is of course assuming he’s even in a grave – I’m pretty certain he was in front of me in line at the SuperTarget last week buying bananas, peanut butter and a National Enquirer. (Just kidding – I’m not THAT kind of an Elvis fan).

And just to make up for the videos of bad covers, here’s a special treat from this week’s episode of Glee (possibly one of my all time favorite shows) covering a FANtastically cheesy yet awesome song by Lionel Richie...Hello

So other than my amusing look into cover songs, this week has been very stressful and not fun. As I stated in a previous post, Facebook and I have a love hate relationship – well, we’ve gotten more involved within the last week and I’d like to make an addendum to my previous post. In addition to the 10 things I learned, I’ve also learned Facebook is not a good way to learn that your sister has gotten engaged or that your Uncle has passed away. It breeds some SERIOUS anger issues that I am currently still working through. Of course, the anger does not stem solely from this, but it didn’t help. Optimistic spin: I’ve also learned some great things on Facebook, such as there is a band of robots that has shows, people love Saturdays, and apparently public "tweets" are being archived by the Library of Congress (sounds like a great use of resources.)

On final note – whichever neighbor posted this in my condo building….shame on you. How does this happen? The poor pudgy ferret is probably going to be found years from now when a suspicious odor is noticed emanating from the wall between the game room and Unit 721. Optimistic spin: I’ve searched my place and have not found Theodore – then again, maybe he’s in the wall between my place and the spa room?!!! New rule: No ferrets allowed in the building!

Day 100: Beatles to the Rescue

(Note:  I digress from my typical self with this entry...there may be hope yet)

DAY 100:  It’s been brought to my attention that yesterday’s entry might have been a bit too crabby….geez people, I preempted the entire blogsite with I AM A PESSIMIST…it doesn’t mean something is wrong with me on that particular day, I’m just letting my natural inner negative child out for a little fun. And it was cathartic because today I feel better (still have a headache that started on Monday though – my brain is screaming for a vacation) and yes, while I am attempting to be more optimistic in my life, sometimes I like to just wallow in the imperfectness of my life and wonder when I will have everything I want. Truth is….probably never. Which in reality is exactly what I want because who wants a life in which they have everything they want?? Then you lose that drive, that motivation to do something, to strive for something, to work hard to get something…..once you lose that, you become complacent, lazy….you grow a beer belly and scratch your nutsack while watching tv. Optimistic spin: I do not have a nutsack.

There’s always going to be something in my life that isn’t up to par, something that can be better, something else I am reaching for, but I had a “moment” last night while watching American Idol (I know, sad….very sad). They were singing Lennon and McCartney songs (some of the best songs in the universe) and one of them sang Let it Be. I’ve always loved this song….but I don’t think I’ve ever really truly listened to it…it tells you that there are times in your life when there is nothing you can do to fix your problems…that is something that is hard to accept – I always try to fix everything and I want it fixed overnight…but I sat and listened and I realized – it will get fixed, it will get easier, I’ve just got to Let it Be. Now to me Let it Be doesn’t mean do nothing, it means, just do, don’t worry, just do, just be, just move toward your goal, focus on the great things you have and don’t worry about the things that bring you down. Whether that’s what Paul meant or not I don’t know, but I don’t think that matters. Music has always had the ability to lift me up, to make my mood brighter - From each piece of art be it music, literature, a painting, a photo – you take from it what you need – that’s the beauty of true artists sharing themselves – they share their life in an effort to affect yours for the better. What I do on a day to day basis (for a living) doesn’t affect anyone’s life for the better – in fact, I’m fairly certain it does the opposite. Optimistic spin (this is truly a real optimistic spin so prepare yourselves, it looks like Day 100 is a milestone):  It’s only my job – in my life – I’m inspired to make other people’s lives better even if I can’t make my own better. Karma may be a bitch, but so am I and I know that I can be really nice if it’s deserved so maybe Karma can too.

(Just click on it to enlarge - sorry it's so small....)

Day Ninety-Nine: Facebook breeds insanity

DAY NINETY-NINE:  I am in a mood of moods today, tired, crabby, annoyed…after all, it’s a day that ends in –y. Honestly though, I have no real reason to be irritated or crabby other than my utter lack of sleep lately – which inevitably leads to anything and everything bugging the shit out of me. I’m falling asleep as I work yet refuse to walk downstairs to get a cup of coffee because I’ve decided I need to start “pinching my pennies” (a term I find curious since pennies are quite solid and impossible to be pinched) and will not pay $4.00 for a 300 calorie sip. In my office we call Tuesdays “Treat Tuesday” (this stemmed from a Hoops and Yoyo e-card – if you’ve never viewed them – do so – they are hilarious little cartoons with goofy voices that even when they don’t say anything funny….they are funny) – well, no one ever actually brings in treats – so today, I will treat myself to a session of unfettered complaining (I’ll try to limit it to a few choice tidbits though). If you don’t want to hear it, stop reading now.

Complaint #1:  Facebook is annoying. Yes, I like many others in my generation (and apparently my mother’s and nephews’ generations and all in between) am slightly addicted. There, I’ve admitted my problem – my first step to recovery. I’m starting to learn though that facebook causes problems that really aren’t problems and am getting a bit angry at this social networking site for making me annoyed. Things I’ve learned from facebook:

1. The amount of friends a person has, has no relation to how many people truly know them.

2. Don’t give a gift and then ask for one in return – it’s tacky.

3. Just because one of your friends is friends with me, doesn’t mean we are friends.

4. When someone tells me something, it does not mean I was stalking you – it means everyone knows your business because YOU put it out there!!

5. Pictures of you kissing someone else are not cute – not now and not 5 years down the road when you are no longer kissing them in real life. (Disclaimer: One or two may be cute to take for yourself to keep, but there is no need to show the world 15 – once you’ve seen one kiss, you’ve seen them all…and once you’ve moved on, move on and take those pictures down.)

6. Soliciting “friendship” is just plain weird. Go meet people like everyone else – in person, through other friends. And if you don’t have other friends…GET OFF FACEBOOK and make some!

7. If you don’t know what someone looks like after hearing their name, you are not friends with them.

8. No one other than yourself needs to know when you’ve taken a shit, pissed your pants, or ran 3 miles unless of course they need to clean up after you. (I sort of already knew this…)

9.  Don't poke me unless you are my boyfriend - and even then...ask permission!

10.  No one works anymore.

Well, I’m at work. So I’ve got to go. I guess the complaining is limited to one topic today. Stay tuned…. Optimistic spin: It isn’t Monday.